Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Big Girl Braces: Day 1

So, today I got braces on my teeth.

After about 12 hours, I'm starting to think I can feel them move already. I'm optimistic I'll have these things off by next week.

The reality is that I'm looking at 18-24 months, hard time. As a criminal justice professor, I'm getting through this in prison terms. No good time credits for me--I'm serving the full sentence. Oh, to be done in 12 months if I behave myself and managed not to get shanked in the yard. Nope. Not gonna happen.

And when I'm done, my parole involves wearing a retainer--hopefully, Invisalign--that will keep my teeth from floating back into the positions they've held for at least 25 years. I know this because my crooked teeth still fit perfectly into the mouthpiece of my alto sax, which I last played (well) at age 18.

You may wonder why my perspective is so negative when I went into this decision with my eyes open. No judge sentenced me to wear braces for 2 years to pay off a speeding ticket. I suppose I'm of two minds on this one. I've been considering it for years, but something always makes me wait. I first started looking into braces in 2002, and was ready to go... and then found out I was pregnant. I thought about it again a few years later, and put it off again. I figured it was either "shit or get off the pot", or as people who are NOT from New Jersey would say, "fish or cut bait".

So, I thought I would chronicle the next two years and see how things go.

So far...
  • My teeth feel weird, and
  • Eating sucks
I may live off smoothies for a while.

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