Big Girl Braces: Day 8

The good news: I'm getting used to these things pretty quickly. They don't seem so foreign any more (the first two days I woke up with them were definitely "WTF!" moments, like I woke up thinking I was still dreaming).

The bad news: I'm having a lot of pain in one of the teeth under the left ramp and still can't chew. So, off to the dentist tomorrow.

(What my orthodontist called "ramps" are also called "bite blocks", and they look like this:

Mine are on the top instead of the bottom, but they keep you from biting down all the way so you don't mess up the lower braces.)

More good news: I've lost a few pounds on my liquid and semi-solid diet, and I've become quite adept at fixing up a variety of mashed treats (Last night: mashed sweet potato with a bit of maple syrup, cinnamon, and butter).

Here's hoping things get fixed up tomorrow.

Having braces as an adult has caused some childhood memories to resurface. I didn't have braces as a kid, but I certainly had plenty of loose teeth. I had forgotten how it feels when a (barely) loose tooth becomes misaligned, and you have to pop it back in with your tongue. I get that feeling a lot, which is very strange.

I'm also surprised at how much I can feel them moving, even though it's been just a week. Amazing that it will take about two years to get them all aligned.

One week down, 100 or so to go.

Big Girl Braces: Day 2

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I feel like a total wuss for complaining, but in some ways Day 2 was worse than Day 1. At least I managed to forget the braces were there for short periods today. So, that's something.

As I told a colleague today, I'm making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Mostly, it's because:

This is what I look like:

This is what I *think* I look like:

(No disrespect to Katy Perry. If you haven't seen her video for "Last Friday Night", you should watch it.)

Big Girl Braces: Day 1

So, today I got braces on my teeth.

After about 12 hours, I'm starting to think I can feel them move already. I'm optimistic I'll have these things off by next week.

The reality is that I'm looking at 18-24 months, hard time. As a criminal justice professor, I'm getting through this in prison terms. No good time credits for me--I'm serving the full sentence. Oh, to be done in 12 months if I behave myself and managed not to get shanked in the yard. Nope. Not gonna happen.

And when I'm done, my parole involves wearing a retainer--hopefully, Invisalign--that will keep my teeth from floating back into the positions they've held for at least 25 years. I know this because my crooked teeth still fit perfectly into the mouthpiece of my alto sax, which I last played (well) at age 18.

You may wonder why my perspective is so negative when I went into this decision with my eyes open. No judge sentenced me to wear braces for 2 years to pay off a speeding ticket. I suppose I'm of two minds on this one. I've been considering it for years, but something always makes me wait. I first started looking into braces in 2002, and was ready to go... and then found out I was pregnant. I thought about it again a few years later, and put it off again. I figured it was either "shit or get off the pot", or as people who are NOT from New Jersey would say, "fish or cut bait".

So, I thought I would chronicle the next two years and see how things go.

So far...

• My teeth feel weird, and
• Eating sucks

I may live off smoothies for a while.